Owášte – Healing With Time

I awoke to a morning that I expected to be just like the countless others during this year of the unknown. The world was hidden from me as it has been all year.  The heaviness of the clouds covered the hurting world around me with a blanket of white, yet there was something different about this morning.

As the clouds covered the world, it was like a beautiful embrace on the world around me. Owášte, a healing moment for my soul. The world that has felt so dreary, appeared delicate and beautiful. A little boy running in the snow laughing, while a father and child were walking their dog across the street, and a grandma lovingly caring for her child and grandchild as they walk from their porch.

There are days, where I feel tiny, torn from the world I once knew, lonely.  Time flows on unending. These emotions are not just mine. They belong to so many across the world.  I am not alone. Closely connected, although so far apart.   I no longer question if we will conquer this unknown, it is..when and how we will do this together.

This beautiful day brings a beauty that I have not seen before.  Even on the day of sadness for those who mourn so much. The laughter of the children, the sound of the wind on the snow-covered trees, the brisk hug of the winter air around me, tells me that we will not break in the midst of this unknown.  My struggles, are your struggles. My loneliness, is your loneliness. My joy, is your joy.

A feeling has ignited within me, but it is not sadness. Not this time. My dreams this night I was with my grandparents and those I love, smiling and laughing. It was in a moment as the wind whispered in my ear on this day, I could hear their message to me so clear.  Be patient. Be strong. That In this year of loss, I have learned how to love, and be loved.

This year of chaos has shown me clarity.  In the midst of my suffering, I have learned to seek solidarity. Solidarity with those around me who have braved the struggles of humankind, and I was taught that these struggles also teach us as humans to be kind.

So this year my promise is to be courageous in each day. To find beauty amongst the chaos. To not just be the story, but tell my story, and help others to learn and see the beauty as I have learned to.

When this ends, that smile that is often lost will no longer be strange or forced. It will be…me, fully, as I no longer see myself as scared and alone. Because I will see that I have become my best self.

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